I'm Still Here
by Kael-bail
Summary: Taichi Yagami left on a foreign exchange student program. At first, it didn't bother Yamato, as he knew Tai would be back. But when a few months turned into a few years, things started to go horribly wrong. Will Tai come back before Matt breaks? Taito, rating to change in later chapters


Chapter 1: Call Me Maybe

_"Promise me you'll come with me to the airport. Just promise me this one thing, Yamato. That's all I want. I'm gonna be gone for a long time and I want your face to be my last memory of home until I get back!"_

A long sigh. Yamato slumped back on his bed, his arm coming to cover his eyes. That was so cheesy, so pathetically cheesy. But Tai knew how to make him crack. Of course he did; they had been friends for eight or nine years now, and had been dating for at least 3 of them in semi-secret. Of course Tai knew how to bend him to his will with the silliest, most adorable things. Damn him. Damn him to hell. "….I just don't know if I can stand to watch you walk away." It sounded sappy. It was only going to be for a school year, it wasn't like Tai was leaving forever. But that word….leaving…God how it made his heart ache just thinking about it.

Truth be told, everything about the situation had bothered Matt back when Tai had told him that he was signing up for the foreign exchange program. That meant few calls. That meant no going over to the Yagami house and laying in Tai's bed for hours at a time, just enjoying each other's company. That meant no sleeping over and having an argument Saturday morning about what they were going to watch for the rest of the day. No hugs, no kisses, no verbal "I love you"s, for an entire school year. Nine whole months of Matt just wanting Tai to come home. He didn't like the thought. Besides, who was to say Tai wouldn't become interested in someone else? Matt had heard from Mimi and Koushiro's friend Wallace that American girls were really pretty; of course they were, his mother was American. But would Tai be interested in any of them? Matt wasn't sure, but he knew that anyone would have to have a better personality that him. "…I'm going to really miss you, Taichi…." His voice cracked; fuck, when had he started crying? This was so stupid and he knew it.

There was a soft, faint chuckle on the other end of the line, followed by rustling; Matt guessed Tai must have been climbing into his bed. It was 1:00, after all, and Tai's flight left at 8:45. _"Trust me, I'll miss you too…I'll call when I can, but I can promise I'll email you every day, even if it's just an I love you, okay?" _

That did make him feel a little better, he had to admit. Matt sniffed a little, rolling onto his side and facing the wall. "Okay…send me pictures, too? I've never been to that part of America…"

_"According to Koushiro it's in the same state as Wallace, so…Colorado I think it was?"_ Tai never was good at remembering these kinds of details. _"But yeah, I guess my host family is like, an hour away from Wallace, and I've already contacted him through Koushiro and we've agreed to meet up. He said he would take me around, though he claims there isn't much to see in Colorado!"_ Tai laughed, and the sound made Matt smile a bit. _"As soon as I have access to the internet, I will email you. Let you know I arrived okay, alright?"_

Matt nodded at first, before verbally replying. "Alright…You're going to have some major jet lag though, so don't think you have to message me immeadiately…" A snort on the other end told him Tai knew he had to, or Matt would through a fit. "Alright alright…just try to sleep at least a little on the plane?"

_"I'll try," _Tai promised, before a loud yawn escaped him. _"Shoot…I need to catch a few z's, okay? Do you need us to come pick you up tomorrow?"_

The idea was nice, since the Yagami family was like his second family, but a part of him didn't want them to see his breakdown on the way home from the airport. "No, I'll be fine. I'll drive myself." He heard Tai make an uncertain, worried hum. "Really," he tried to assure. "If I miss you too bad I'll pull over and gather my bearings. I promise."

Tai hummed for a long moment, and fell silent. Matt opened his mouth to say something more when Tai finally replied. _"Okay. I trust you. And any relationship is based off trust, right?" _He chuckled. _"So I'll trust you to use your best judgement." _Tai fell quiet for a moment, his voice going barely above a whisper. "_I love you…."_

Matt felt his heart flutter rapidly against his ribcage, and his throat got tight. Those words…he let them echo a bit in his head before he replied, wanting nothing more to never stop hearing them while Tai was gone. "…I love you too…"

* * *

The airport was the last place Matt wanted to be at right now. He wanted to be curled up in bed, huddled in Tai's arms and just listening to his heartbeat. Instead, he was sitting at the terminal with Tai's family, sitting next to him. They were all chatting animatedly about the trip, and the sorts of things Tai should see and do while in America. And yet, Matt…couldn't help but be selfish, not wanting Tai to go. But there was nothing he could do; the trip was paid for, the agreement had been made. Tai's sister, Kari, seemed to notice his discomfort, giving him a small, sympathetic smile. It made Matt a little sick.

He slowly got up, mumbling something about the bathroom. Kari quickly stood. "I need to go too…and I can't remember where it was on the way up here." Matt seemed to frown a little, but headed away from the terminal, and out of sight. Kari quickly followed him. Once she was sure they were alone, she spoke again. "We're going to miss him too, Yamato…"

A small, irritated sound came from his throat, leaning against the wall and sliding down into a crouching position. "I'm so damn selfish. I don't WANT him to go. I want him to stay HERE, with ME." His hands came up, fingers combing through his hair for possibly the hundredth time that morning. It was turning into a mess. "I never wanted him to do this, I wanted him to just stay close and be happy with me."

Kari hummed a little, listening to Matt. She sat beside him on her knees, placing her hands in her lap. "I see. Yes, that does sound a little selfish, but sometimes it's okay to be selfish. You love him. You want to protect him, to be sure he's safe and happy, to be his center of attention. And honestly, that's okay." She smiled faintly, her head cocking a bit to the side and a soft smile on her lips. "The thing is, you have to learn how to detatch. Taichi can't be at your every beck and call forever. You'll end up smothering him."

The blond clenched his jaw a bit, exhaling slowly. "I know," he whispered. "I am more than aware of that, Hikari. And to be honest….That is the only reason I haven't said anything today. Because I don't WANT to smother him." He looked at Tai's younger, yet very intuitive sister. "I just kinda don't belong here, ya know? You guys are all encouraging him, and I'm just…being the gray cloud overhead."

Kari giggled a little. "You're so negative, Yamato." She was about to say something else, when they both froze, hearing a voice chime over the intercom.

_"Flight 328A has now arrived. Please prepare to board."_

Kari seemed to frown and looked to Matt. Matt had paled a bit, his jaw clenched tightly. No. No, he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to watch Tai get on that plane, to watch that plane take his boyfriend over nine thousand kilometers away from him, to have to face nearly a year without seeing that beautiful brunet and be held by him. Fuck he wasn't ready for this. No. No. No. He barely registered Kari pulling him to his feet and tugging him back to the terminal until he heard Tai and his mother saying their farewells. The blond's heart was racing.

Kari ran to her brother, hugging him tightly as he spun her in a wide circle, making her giggle loudly. He squeezed her tight and gave her cheeks kisses. "Now Hikari, I need you to watch over things for me, okay? Make sure Yamato takes care of himself, okay? Because God knows he needs me to babysit." He was joking of course, and everyone knew it, but to be honest, Tai was a bit worried about Matt.

"I'll take care of him, brother," Kari promised with a nod. Tai had already shared his concerns weeks ago, and she had full intention of watching over her brother's lover. She turned at looked to the blond, slowly backing away from her brother. Their parents seemed to catch on and turned away to give them a little privacy.

The two stood and stared at each other for a long moment. Matt was trying to stay calm. Tai was smiling a ghost of a smile, able to read Matt's emotions. Slowly, Tai outstretched his arms in a welcoming gesture, motioning with his hands for Matt to come to him. Matt took one hesitant step, before quickly closing the distance between them. His arms wrapped tightly around Tai's waist, and Tai's arms tightened around the blond's shoulders. They stayed like that for a long moment, neither of them saying a word. Matt's face was hiding in Tai's shoulder. Tai lightly kissed his temple, giving him an affectionate squeeze. "I'll keep in touch," he whispered. "I promise, okay?" All Matt could do was nod, feeling all his walls falling apart around him, the dam of his emotions cracking. Tai smiled faintly, nuzzling him. "I love you…"

Matt couldn't reply. He wanted to, so badly. But the words couldn't come out. They were stuck in his throat, choking him. Instead, a small, whimpered sob left his throat. His mind was racing, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He had so many things he wanted to say right now, but not enough time to say them. Another voice came over the intercom.

_"Final boarding call for Flight 328A."_

Tai forced Matt to let him go, and cupped his face in his hands. Matt felt the tears he had been fighting swell, trailing over his cheek onto Tai's hands. His hands slowly covered Tai's. "I love you, Yamato," Tai repeated, quiet. "I'll be back, okay…?" His thumb shifted, wiping the tears. "I'll be back."

"I don't want you to go…" the blond whispered back.

"I know…But I WILL be back, okay? Just wait for me."

Matt slowly nodded. He'd wait. He'd wait and pray and love and whatever else he needed to do for Tai to come home. "I love you," he whispered, his voice cracking a little. "Please come back soon…"

"I'll come back as soon as I can…" Tai pecked his boyfriend's head, then the tip of his nose, before giving him a slow kiss on the lips. Matt couldn't properly react, giving Tai's hands a squeeze as a small sob left his throat. Tai bumped their foreheads together gently, before finally letting Matt go as the flight attendant started calling for him.

And before Matt could register, he was watching the plane take flight, his heart along with it.

* * *

The drive home was more than a little lonely. In fact, Matt didn't even have the heart to drive home. At home, he would be alone. At home, he would lay in bed and dwell on the situation and make himself more and more unhappy. At home, dad would come home and bug the hell out of him to find out his issue. Not that his dad knew about Tai. No, Mr. Ishida was not the best person to know that information. So at first, Matt drove aimlessly around the city, no set destination in mind. But he eventually found himself standing outside an apartment. His mother's apartment, to be exact. She probably wasn't home, but it was the weekend, which meant his little brother, TK, would probably be around. He lifted a heavy hand and rang the doorbell.

The bell seemed to ring forever. The silence that followed seemed to go even longer. When the door did finally open, TK was standing in his light gray pajamas, his D-tector in his hand with a message from Kari visable on it. Slowly, the younger blond's eyes seemed to soften as he looked at his brother. "Hikari told me," he said quietly, gently tugging Matt inside. "C'mon. I'll make you some tea, and we can watch movies until you feel well enough to go home…"


End file.
